Everything I do ..

Is off.
Every decision I make ..
Wrong.

It's a fact.

I was just discussing this with my mom ..
and she named one, two, three, four decisions I have made over the last couple of days that have been the opposite of what I should have chosen.
I then said "You don't know the half of it honey."

I really need to get out of this opposite mode.
Doctors have tried gettin me hooked on all kindsa pills that
keep me focused, on task, happy, sleepy, awake ..

Where's the pill that prevents me from making the wrong decision?

... This is the best way I can .. explain the way my brain works..

I can go right ...
.. or I can go left ...
I choose left ... but I should have gone right ..
If I went right then things would have WORKED OUT ..
But I went left ... then everything went downhill --
& as far as that situation itself goes -- I just keep falling down-hill ...
Me -- turning left -- there's no undoing this ..
I just watch everything that could have happened happen ..

Nothing EVER seems to be .. smooth sailing.

I was saying this 3 days ago after I handed Debbie
[the nice lady at 'Franks Car Care']
the keys to my car ..

I hurt myself a little more than I'd like ..
& everything bad happens in three's.
One - Two - Three.

You might think I'm crazy ..
or you might think the same way I think ..
[in a sense that everything goes wrong]
If so ... please let me know..

Because Im starting to think that I'm CURSED.
Either I need some voodoo witch doctor to cleanse me ..
Or I need that pill that I was talking about ..
'The Decisionator' -- 'Prevention of Suicidean'ator'

Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Flexibility, thinking on your feet, and the ability to accommodate the unexpected will be called for now. The pace is very quick. You will be pulled in many directions at once and will tend to scatter your forces, jumping from one thing to the next. Positively, you may come up with some fresh, original plan or insight that may seem crazy at first, but which is likely to be quite useful.